The Adventures of Vipe
by The Horrors of Jac
Summary: Vipe Pavlos, at least that what he's called, joins Ouran for his 'first' year of high school. Since he's the 'prince of Greece', he's sought out by everyone. He joins the host club only to get the number of 'guests' need for his coronation, but ends up befriending them instead. (I totally suck at summaries, but you should give this a try. It's going to be pretty slow at first)
1. Chapter 1

I look around, a smirk on my face. Everyone is staring me, women and few men, blushing and whispering. I hold up two fingers against my lips and stick my slightly long tongue out. I gently, but firmly lap at the skin in between. Their blushes increase and some girls faint.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!" They scream. I chuckle and walk into the hideous-looking pink building. I look around. It's pretty. I stop and stare at the ceiling. Absolutely beautiful. There are old, famous paintings all over the ceiling, some overlapping.

I head towards the main office to get my schedule. I walk in and go to the front desk.

"Hold on a moment." The woman manning the desk says in a bored tone. Doesn't she know how she's supposed come running to aid me at all times?

"Alright, just hurry." Her head snaps up when she hears the deep baritone of my voice. She straightens and opens her shirt up a bit. She gives me a smile that I'm guessing is supposed to be stunning.

"What do you need, sir," She practically purrs. Ah. She must think I'm a adult. Well, she's kinda right.

"I need my schedule, please." She visibly deflates when she realizes I'm a student.

"What's your name?" She asks, defeat evident in her tone.

"Vipe Pavlos." She gasps and her eyes widen. She hands me the schedule, while apologizing for her rudeness.

"Thank you, and it's fine," I say, giving her a charming smile and a wink. She blushes and stutter out an answer. I walk away and head to my first class, class 1-A.

The bell suddenly ring, and fuck, I'm now late. I run until I finally find it. Damn, it took me 20 minutes to find the fucking class. I let myself catch my breath before I open the door.

The teacher stops talking and looks at me."And, who are you?"

I bow before saying, "I am Vipe Pavlos, the new foreign exchange student." Everyone gasps before whispering.

"Oh my god, he's the prince of Greece!"

"I didn't think he'd be so hot!"

"Do you think I have a chance of becoming Princess?!"

I snicker at the one. Yeah, there's not even a chance in your dreams.

"Alright, everyone settle down. Please, Mr. Pavlos, tell us something about yourself."

I stand up straight and say, "Well then, let's start with my likes, yes?" All the females nod eagerly while the males scoff. "I like: candy; cake, especially milopita; tea; cute things; and lots of other things. Oh, and also, I find that I absolutely love these things called dango. They are delicious." To, both prove my point and excite the girls, I drag my tongue across my upper lip.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" All of the girls squeal.

"Quiet down, everyone!" The teacher yells. He turns to me and smiles apologetically. "Please sit down. I think there is an open spot next to Haruhi Fujioka; Mr. Fujioka, please raise your hand." A short boy with big doe brown eyes raises his hand. 'Wait... that's a girl. What the hell? Whatever,' I think to myself as I walk to my new spot. I sit and turn to her.

I give her a dazzling smile before leaning in and whispering in a low voice, "Does anyone else know you're a girl?"

Her eyes widen before she stutters out, "How did you know?"

I just chuckle and whisper, "I have my ways." I turn back and take the things I need out of my bag.

* * *

A boring ass hour later, and the bell FINALLY rings. Once it does, though, I'm crowded by women.

"Ohmygod,Vipe,canIcallyouVipe,canIplease,please,please,pleasebeyourwife?!" Fucking hell, these women are scary. I guess women haven't changed when it came to that over the centuries.

I smile my most polite smile and say in my nicest voice, "No, you can't call me Vipe, you may call me Mr. Pavlos. And I'm sorry, but you may not become my wife either."

The women ignore the last part and continue with the boring questions I'm used to hearing.

"Are you going to become a host?! Oh my, I'd sit with you everyday!" At that I perk up.

"A host?" I ask, "What's that?"

The woman who said that giggles before answering, "It something totally awesome-" She's cut off by a ginger boy.

"It's a place where handsome young men with too much time on their hands entertain young women who also have too much time on their hands."

Interesting. "Can I please know where I can find this 'Host Club'?"

Another ginger who exactly the same to the other answers, "Music room 3." I nod. I'll be sure to check it out after school. The teacher walks in and yells for us to quiet down and get in out spots.

* * *

I stretch, and start packing up my stuff. Everyone except me and Miss Fujioka has left. I look at my watch. Alright, I have at most 2 hours to check out this 'Host Club'. I feel like someone is staring at me, and oh, guess what, I was right. 'Mr.' Fujioka was staring at me.

"Is there something you need?" I ask politely.

She shakes her head, "No. It's just... something feels off about you..."

My smile falters at that, but I quickly fake a smile.

"What do you mean?" I ask nicely, while internally I'm screaming to just fucking eat her. I let out an inaudible breath and wait to hear her answer.

"I don't know," she says getting a far off look in her eye.

She suddenly snaps to attention and looks apologetic. "I'm sorry to assume anything about you."

I shake my head, "It's perfectly fine." Damn, I gotta be careful around this bitch. She just might discover my not-so-little secret.

I'm halfway out the door when she says, "Here, do you want to me to show you where music room 3 is? It's no problem at all; I'm one of the hosts."

I raise an eyebrow at that. "Do they know that you are female?"

She nods, "Most of them found out the first day."

"Most?" I repeat.

She sweatdrops and says, "Yea, most. The president found out when he walked in on me changing." I couldn't stop the laugh that bubbles from my lips. She stares at me oddly before laughing along with me. Shit. She must of heard the slight hiss it had. We start walking to the Host Club and start talking about random little things. "So, what's it like being the prince of Greece?" She asks genuinely curious.

I hum before answering, "It's tiring. And slightly boring." That's true. Being a prince is very tiring and boring, but I feel slightly bad about lying to Haruhi. Wait, why do I care? I shouldn't care! I'm here just to bring some people back for my coronation. So what if they have to die.

I sigh and she looks at me."Are you okay?" I nod and take another step, only to bump into Haruhi.

I quickly step back and apologize, "I'm so sorry, but why have we stopped?"

"It's fine, and because we're here." I look up at the sign above us. Music Room 3. Oh. Whoops. Haruhi takes a deep breathe before pushing the double doors open.


	2. Chapter 2

The second Haruhi opens the door, flower petals attack us.

"Da fuck..." I mutter under my breath.

"Welcome to the Host Club!" A loud, boisterous voice yells. When the petals clear, I see a beautiful tall blonde with pretty purple eyes, and multiple equally beautiful boys behind him. The one that stands out to me is a plain-looking boy with glasses, writing in a notebook that looked like a deathnote.

I snicker in my head; there's NO way one of them dropped their deathnote. I'd beat the shit out of them. A Shinigami must not lose his notebook. And if they do, I have to get it back. And damn, do I hate these pitiful humans. Begging to keep it, for one more day, one more hour...

"Oh, It's just Haruhi... and... the prince..." The ginger twins from my class hesitate.

"Prince?!" The tall blondie yells.

I bow, once again, and say, "Hello, my name is-"

I'm cut off by Four Eyes, "Vipe Pavlos. Prince of Greece. Here to learn about Japanese culture, or so the report says."

I smile sweetly on the outside, when internally, I'm fuming. He shouldn't know that yet. I specifically asked the principal to NOT announce the fact that I'll be going here.

"Yes, that is right. Now that you all know who I am, may I ask who you all are?"

Blondie jumps in here, "Of course! I'm Tamaki Souh, the president and king of this club!" He points to a tiny boy, who has an innocent look on his face as he squeezes the life out a pink, stuffed bunny, "That's Hunny-senpai," I silently raise an eyebrow at that. He points to the tall raven haired boy, standing next to the little kid- I mean Hunny-'senpai'. In all honesty, I'm WAAAAAAAY older than all of them. "That's Mori-senpai." He points his long finger to the twins next, "Hikaru and Kaoru." Finally he points to my raven haired beauty... Wait, what? "And that's Kyouya."

I keep my bent over position as I say, "It's a pleasure to meet to all. So, all of you, including the lovely Haruhi, makes up the Host Club?" I get a vigorous nod in return.

"Oh, am I ecstatic to know that the Prince knows about us!" I'm slightly surprised that he knows the word ecstatic. He seems dumb. Maybe I misjudged..? "But who knew the Prince of Greece would be so openly gay!" Yep, nope. I was right. He's a complete idiot.

"Senpai, you can't just say that!" Haruhi yells at the bimbo. I feel my eye twitch in annoyance. Once I'm done here, I'm going to eat that fucker's soul. How dare he call me gay?! The fucking blonde looks like he'd love to be fucked senseless! And I have more women waiting in my room than I could count!

I take a deep breath to try to calm down before I speak, "I am not gay, Souh. I merely came to see what some female classmates were talking about. Assumptions are very rude and dangerous, Souh." I see everyone minus Four-Eyed Beauty and Haruhi shiver at the dangerous tone of my voice.

Four Eyes pushes up his glasses and clears his throat. "I apologize for Tamaki's incompetence. You said you came to see what the Host Club is about, correct?" I feel a complete irrational anger cloud my mind at the fact that he called Bimbo by his first name.

"Yes, that is correct, Ootori-kun." I get a few odd looks before I realize I just said his last name when no one told me what it is.

'Aw, fuck, stop messing shit up, Vipe!' I hear my younger brother hiss in my head.

'Shut the fuck up, Xander! Something's not right about Four Eyes,' I hiss right back.

I feel the little boy jump onto my back, and I let him. "How do you know Kyo-chan's last name?" He asks in a sweet voice.

I take a second to actually look at Glasses. "Because he just looks like an Ootori. And because Principal Souh told me about his son and his friends. He said to find you guys if I ever need help." Nailed it!

'Xander, go put that in the old creep's memory.'

'Roger, roger.'

"Oh, that makes sense, Vipe-chan!" Baby Face yells into my ear. Shit, it sucks having sensitive ears. I blink away the dots that swim into my vision. Wait, did this little bitch just call me 'Vipe-chan'?

"Oh, Kyouya, some girls in the class practically fainted at the though of him being a host. And he's already super popular with the girls," One of the gingers say to Glasses.

"Hm, yes, I do suppose it would be in our best interest to make him join the Host Club. Otherwise we'd probably lose customers and we can't have that. So, Mr. Pavlos, would you kindly join the Host club?" Glasses asks me, a cold business smile on his face. Hot damn, is he cool! Wait, what the fuck?

I purse my lips in thought. 'Should I, Xander?'

I can practically see him shrug, 'You'd get your guests faster.'

'So, yes?'

'No shit, Sherlock.' I mentally chuckle.

"Sure," I say shrugging, "I don't have better to do, so far." The second I say that, Baby Face yells in ear again, and Bimbo squeezes us both. Alright, I'm getting ready to just say fuck it and eat everyone's soul. Well, minus Glasses and Haruhi. Haruhi seems cool, and I feel an odd connection to Glasses... I'll have to ask Aunt Zabrina about that.

I peel myself away from Bimbo and Baby Face and run straight into the door. I groan lightly and rub my nose.

"Waah, Vipe are you okay?!" Bimbo yells in my ear. I cringe and push him away.

"I'm fine!" I yell back, covering my ears. I catch Glasses staring at me, concern shining in his eyes. When he notices he was caught, he look at his notebook quickly. Huh. Okay, then. I hear footsteps quickly approaching the door. I throw myself away from it at the last second. The door swings open, sending Bimbo flying.

"Big Brother! You're late!" Xander whines, "Dad's getting tired of waiting, and Aunt Zabrina said she has to talk to you! And _I'm_ tired of waiting! You're so mean, leaving me all alone, with no one to talk to! Did-did you _forget_ about me...?" Oh, so that's how he wants to play this. I walk up to and pull him to my arms, burying my face into his long, black hair.

"I'm so sorry, Xander! I got distracted and lost track of time. I swear I didn't forget about you! I could never do such a thing! You're much too important to me!" I smirk into his hair as I hear everyone minus Glasses gasp.

"Vipe-chan, I didn't know you have a little brother!" Baby Face yells from atop the tall raven haired boy. Xander gasps and looks up at me with crocodile tears in his eyes.

"You didn't tell them about me...? Do you not love me...?"

'Wow, these people are dumber than I thought!' Xander mentally sends me. I just send him a chuckle, before I swoop down and press my lips to his forehead.

"Of course I love you! I just didn't them about you because we never got around to it. Do you wanna meet them all?" He pretends to beam at that.

"Sure! But first, for making sad, you have to do the thing!" I groan and bump my forehead against his.

"Please don't make me..."

"Then you don't love me!" He cries. I sigh, and smirk internally.

"Fine, but I'm only doing it once!" I bring my lips to his ear, and breath heavily before I nibble on it gently. "I'll always love you, Xander..." I whisper in his ear, loud enough that everyone can hear. Xander bursts into different shades of red and hides his face in my school blazer. I hear a gushing and turn just in time to see everyone blushing and Bimbo in a puddle of blood. I secretly lick my lips and groan lightly. Damn, I'm starting to get hungry.

I look at Glasses and am surprised. He looks pissed; clutching his notebook in a white knuckle grip, teeth grinding, anger obvious is his eyes. Huh. Yea, I really need to talk to Aunt Zabrina.

Glasses takes a few deep breaths before straightening and clearing his throat. "So, this is your little brother, Xander Pavlos, second prince." I can still hear the anger in his tone. Okay, I'm starting to get scared; I'm seriously worried about him. I only worry about four people in my life, and that's Xander, Aunt Zabrina, Dad, and myself.

Xander seems to pick up on my worry and looks at me oddly. He suddenly laughs and jumps away from me, successful startling me. "And~ scene!" He yells. Everyone stares at him like he's crazy before Blondie jumps up and starts clapping madly.

"Bravo! You even had me believing it! Oh, I thought you two were in a incestuous relationship!" He screeches. Xander smirks and bows a few times. I snap out of my daze and walk over to him, throwing an arm over his shoulder.

"He's a great actor, isn't he?" I ask no one in particular. "You should have seen his last performance for Dad's friends. God, they all though he actually killed me." Xander laughs crazily as everyone comments on how great the mini performance was. Glasses looked shocked. Did he actually believe I was fucking my little brother? Wow, I'm actually kinda offended. Xander sighs and tugs on my arm.

"Seriously, though, Dad's tired of waiting. Come on. Bye, everyone! Thanks for being kind to my brother."

Blondie jump in front of us and waves his hands violently. "No, no, thank you! Thank you for that wonderful performance!"

Xander blushes lightly and turns away. "Come on, Vipe!" I chuckle and follow him out.

"Bye everyone," I wave without turning around.

"Don't forget to come after school tomorrow, Mr. Pavlos," Glasses says.

"Of course, how could I forget," I wave him off. I close the door and drop the facade. "Kami fuck, these people are annoying!" My voice echoes slightly in the empty hallway. Xander snort and pats my back.

"Well, you gotta do this tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next-"

"I get it! Now, can we go home?" I yell at him as I stretch.

"Hai, hai. Danial's gotta the limo waiting for us. Oh, April's in the car too."

I fistpump the sky with a small yell of happiness. "Fuck yea! Hey, do you mind if I get a bj in car? Those dweebs stress me the fuck out."

Xander just wave his daintly, little hand. "'Course not," a smirk crosses his delicate features. "Steven's in the car too. Hope you don't mind seeing my lilly white ass."

I groan lightly, "Dude, you're seriously gonna have him finger you in the fucking car?"

Xander snorts, "Hey, if you're getting a blowjob, I'm getting fucking fingered."


End file.
